Oddballs On a Night Out

I’ve been in a rather unpleasant mood of recent, with a hatful of small illnesses combining well enough to relinquish the smile from my face. In reality, I just like a good old moan about certain things - all in jest of course. Last Monday, I tackled sickness and tiredness to show myself at a birthday and whilst sitting down sampling corona, (The three for five pound deal the only reason I’d drink a beer that’s flatter than a witches breast) I made some astute observations. Firstly, do people actually like this engineered, painstakingly awful music? I can understand people jumping around like kangaroos if Barry White was on, but this? Mama’s right; they don’t make music like they use to or is it just the value of time? Small groups by the bar also caused myself a casual chuckle. They’d stand there, nodding there heads, but no conversation would entail as if they spoke completely different languages. The only communication that occurred would be one of the group semi miming the chorus of a song to the others as if it would result in a chorus of laughs. Then it was back to looking at the floor, pretending to find amusement at things happening elsewhere and the occasional check of the mobile. You aint got no text honey; now go get some social skills! My third canny acknowledgment is the dude in the corner. There always is one! He clearly ventured to the club on his lonesome and quietly waited as if poised to attack. While bobbing to the ‘music’ his ‘rape eyes’ were inspecting any female that happened to pass. My estimation (Usually as accurate as Legolas with a bow and arrow) is that he ventured home on his lonesome also. So, as I stood in the bathroom evading people’s drunken talk, the guy trying to acquire money to wash my hands and (Less successfully) the ocean of piss on the floor, I wondered if going out to clubs is all its cracked up to be. Yet as I re-emerged into the room, I beheld a drunken women on heels reminiscent of a hippo on roller-skates. As she fell over screaming as if she was giving birth to triplets and receiving the care of those gaining their day’s good karma, a hyena-like cackle erupted from inside me. Yes, I decided, going out IS what its cracked up to be! Maybe I’m the sad one…