Can You Write A Blog In 5 Minutes?

Wanting to re-ignite my passion for writing, I think I’m just going to ramble on and see where this blog takes me. I just watched some programme about obese kids. One girl was 24 stone at 13. Now how is that possible? Who’s to blame? I had collated numerous inventive jokes and jibes about it but I now deem them a little harsh. I sometimes wonder when jokes step over the line but I’ve always been interested in dark, rude and harsh comedy – it always seems to get the most laughs, which maybe indicates a bad side to the human race. In a way I felt a bit of sympathy with the individual. Even if she is partly to blame, she has a tough ordeal. On a plus note, my female housemates quickly abandoned their dominoes after seeing the size of her, not to mention the grotesqueness of surgery, and I felt obliged to tuck in!! That’s one of the many things I love about women; they barely ever finish their food therefore I feast. I have been labelled a magpie and a human hoover for this but I sure don’t care. Although to take ones nuts and red/blue slush puppy in the cinema is most certainly a step too far! Hmm what else to discuss as the hours tick by… Essays are piling up. I happen to have started the first one but it is such a chore. I tend to just do the bare minimum to get it out of the way! Or I simply find methods of procrastination (Everyone’s favourite word bar myself). I maintain that if it were something I was really passionate about, I’d give it my heart and soul. Yet what is it I’m truly passionate about? Back in the olden days I had a love for rugby, which was probably enhanced by being the star man on most, my teams. Pa would take me frequently and I know I was doing him proud. Yet this passion has melted away like snow in the summer sun. Another part of my history was a passion for church and studying religions. This still remains with me yet I don’t act upon it as much. The list could go on but I don’t want to bore you too much. Well whatever you are passionate about, you be proud of it and enjoy it to the fullest! Next time my blog hopefully will be on a topic rather than spontaneous sleepy talk. Rumour has it that this is going to the best Halloween ever; I read it in my HORRORscope! On that note, good night!

Oddballs On a Night Out

I’ve been in a rather unpleasant mood of recent, with a hatful of small illnesses combining well enough to relinquish the smile from my face. In reality, I just like a good old moan about certain things - all in jest of course. Last Monday, I tackled sickness and tiredness to show myself at a birthday and whilst sitting down sampling corona, (The three for five pound deal the only reason I’d drink a beer that’s flatter than a witches breast) I made some astute observations. Firstly, do people actually like this engineered, painstakingly awful music? I can understand people jumping around like kangaroos if Barry White was on, but this? Mama’s right; they don’t make music like they use to or is it just the value of time? Small groups by the bar also caused myself a casual chuckle. They’d stand there, nodding there heads, but no conversation would entail as if they spoke completely different languages. The only communication that occurred would be one of the group semi miming the chorus of a song to the others as if it would result in a chorus of laughs. Then it was back to looking at the floor, pretending to find amusement at things happening elsewhere and the occasional check of the mobile. You aint got no text honey; now go get some social skills! My third canny acknowledgment is the dude in the corner. There always is one! He clearly ventured to the club on his lonesome and quietly waited as if poised to attack. While bobbing to the ‘music’ his ‘rape eyes’ were inspecting any female that happened to pass. My estimation (Usually as accurate as Legolas with a bow and arrow) is that he ventured home on his lonesome also. So, as I stood in the bathroom evading people’s drunken talk, the guy trying to acquire money to wash my hands and (Less successfully) the ocean of piss on the floor, I wondered if going out to clubs is all its cracked up to be. Yet as I re-emerged into the room, I beheld a drunken women on heels reminiscent of a hippo on roller-skates. As she fell over screaming as if she was giving birth to triplets and receiving the care of those gaining their day’s good karma, a hyena-like cackle erupted from inside me. Yes, I decided, going out IS what its cracked up to be! Maybe I’m the sad one…

Road Trip

Went to the pub today only to have a coke! Pigs may well fly soon. Today represented the cultured dude I so attain to be rather than the loud buffoon that’s others often see. Along with my comrades we cruised into untamed lands and mystical mountains. Without sarcasm, the eerie silence and peaceful tranquillity of such places really soothed the soul. As waves crashed ferociously upon the rocks, the spraying water seemingly cleansed a liver that’s battered like cod. Witnessing the power of nature made me feel small so what will be will be. A man strolling the pebbled beach with his dog, maybe a vision into my future. I’m going to cease writing this ‘poetic’ dribble, but gratitude must go to the only good thing to come out of Luxemburg for taking us on this adventure. And may I also say how nice it was to be in an enticing restaurant for once, which vastly differs from the take-outs I so often succumb to… far nearer my standards. Back to normal tomorrow, in the pub all day. All aboard the Banter Train… destination unknown! It was just nice to do something different for once!