Me and my Chins

Looking back over past photos of golden days, on the time waster that is Facebook, I happily conclude that there WAS a day when I didn’t have more chins than China. People used to say I had my mothers chin. Nowadays they also say my second chin is that of my fathers, the third is definitely similar to my cousins while the fourth is just utterly unique. Splendid! The best banter is when it has an echo of truth to it! I can only point my finger to one reason why I’ve had to withstand this barrel of abuse. The lure of the tantalisingly tasty drink that is beer! An interesting fact from yours truly is that there are roughly 210 calories in a pint of Guinness. So when I guzzle ten of these every other day, not only am I pummelling dangerous amounts of alcohol into my blood but also, I’m almost reaching my recommended calorie intake. This is without taking into account my, lets say, less than healthy food diet! Why do I do this? My body is a temple; you have to take off your shoes to enter me! Sorry, how crude of me! My aim is to get to some decent standard of rugby again; it pains me to see all these wannabes thinking they’re good! I suppose my recent trend of jogging will help; even if I drip sweat, contemplate cramp and grasp for breath as if I’m drowning (As Josephides would say). And that’s just to keep up with my Genevan fashion guru. I was on the ‘no pain no pain’ motto until recently. Yet as Bigger says, what’s the point of trying to look perfect, I sure don’t care! And it means I can keep up the greatest social thing in the world. Sitting in a pub all day! Hmm a blog about chins and beer… sorry!

Juggling with Wisdom

If you throw numerous balls into the air and attempt to catch all of them, inevitably you wont catch any. Faster than Usain Bolt, they will fall like volcanic ash from your grasp, squirm through your outreaching fingers similar to a slippery salmon and escape like Harrison Ford in the Fugitive. Yet this fugitive cannot be caught once free. So with the beauty and luxury that is hindsight, the option you must partake in is crystal clear. Go for just the one ball; set your mind firmly onto catching this and do not let go! This appears reminiscent to life; we cannot have everything so maybe you should set aside certain possibilities and aim for the goal you truly desire most (Unless you can juggle of course!). Well clearly I’m no Aristotle, Plato or Dumbledore in the philosophy department so maybe I should just stick to what I’m good at. Then again I don’t have the faintest (Like Becca at the doctors) idea what that is! Sorry Becca, I am glad you’re ok and sorry everyone else for the terrible attempt at a gag. Well I’ve been labelled many varying things since my debuting blog from gay to the new Oscar Wilde – well ok, no real difference at all. However I refuse to be a sell out regardless of the taunts and heckles from people who trail me in the realm of banter by a country mile! To my many followers, yes all three of them, I will be blogging away in the upcoming days! Now I look forward to revelling in some Ready Salted crisps!

Bow and Arrows with Russell

Well I feel like I am talking to no one bar my angel Gina with her pearly teeth whiter than the peak of Everest. However I quite like that; I don’t have to hold back or worry about offending people though that is probably what I’ll end up doing! What to write? Well Robin Hood may well be a good starting topic. Witnessing Crowe russell (get it?) some magic up is always an enjoyable thing for me. His body is a panzer tank yet at the same time you can tell he enjoys his beers! He’s not, I conclude, one of those ridiculously ripped men who clearly have no lives nor, on the other hand, is he a fat slob. I would happily be his Maid Marian however if he saw me writing this I don’t think he’d be so keen. The other thing that sparked my dud of an imagination was the way their little communities interact. They work together in the day and get drunk together (Getting drunk, I think this could lead to a good ethical debate of a blog soon) at night while singing and listening to live music. Casting aside images of it being a disease filled, rat infested and plague packed lifestyle, I choose to envision a life where people merrily relax and enjoy themselves. In other words, is this modern life, full of gadgets and skyscrapers, really all that? In the snobbish west we look down on these ‘simple’ lifes but it is these lives that appear void of work and exam stress, spiralling debts and the general constant pressures. All this recession bullshit. Today with my main Nottingham lass, Gen, she gets denied entry into the library for not having a card. Why are people so uptight and have to follow every stupid law when instead they could just give a fellow human a helping hand? Everybody is for themselves in these modern towering and suffocating cities. There’s a lack of community.

I wish I could fly away to a world of my own,
One of peace and dreams,
A land of no tears, a land of no fears,
And the waves wash out the screams.
Yet as I get beaten down, trodden on,
Those clouds seem miles away,
Yet I can still yearn, I can still earn,
A life in a brighter day.
A place where one can smile,
Where there’s no hint of the dark,
You’re never alone as this world of my own,
Gives me a happy heart.

Just a little cheeky poem based on the idea of an alternative world. I think everyone is fascinated with ideas of heavens or different worlds. It’s nice to escape once in a while from this fast life; hence calling this blog A world of my own. And Russell, you can join me whenever you want.